Breathe… and suddenly you are light as air.
As most of you may know, there’s nothing like a good dose of family to humble your “higher Self”!
It has taken me over 20 years to learn not to take my mother-in-law’s comments personally, but that is not to say I’m still not challenged by her visits. Anyone who knows her can tell you she’s a high-energy, not-to-be-ignored, force of nature (including Betty, herself!). But, I don’t want to elaborate on the laundry list of conflicts I can create in my head, today I would rather focus on the moments in-between.
I have found that certain relationships in our lives seem to be built around the idea of teaching us who we are. All relationships serve this purpose to some extent, but for some reason, certain dynamics seem to really reach deep – and if we’re open enough – can really expose us to some valuable information.
First of all, one thing I do know is as long as I am of this earth, I will NOT find myself fluttering above it all on gilded wings. As much patience and acceptance and compassion and understanding that I may discover I possess – there will always be times of anger, frustration, annoyance, disappointment and resistance. What I do hope to find more of, is the ability to observe myself experiencing it ALL - as I watch myself judging others who judge; as I watch my heart softening in a moment of compassion; as I watch the hissy-fit rise up from my gut, just begging for a tantrum; as I watch myself listening patiently to another’s words filled with negativity and fear, knowing we all can go there.
So, while my dear mother-in-law will, no doubt, continue to expose me to my own frustrations and shortcomings, she is also teaching me to lighten up - “have a giggle” at it all. And, well… I would call that progress, wouldn’t you?
Find your breath, lighten up and bring it on.
Cheers!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Gaining Equilibrium
Balance... and suddenly see-saws are for kids again.
During a conversation with a friend the other day, I asked how she was doing. She replied “Overall, things are good. There are still times when I’m feeling challenged, but for the most part, I seem to have a deeper sense of ease in my life these days.” Wow. Rock on, my friend!
We all know deep in our hearts that the challenges will never go away. There may even be a subconscious part of our Selves that bring them on, and yet when they arise, so does our frustration or despair. It’s as though we can forget we’ve encountered innumerable challenges up to that point in our life - and handled everyone of them.
Finding balance is one of the biggest challenges we can face. Riding the see-saw of easiness and exigency can make even the sanest person go mad. How do we stay in the middle? How do we not get carried off by the drama, the story lines we write for ourselves? What can we count on to bring us strength? Perhaps the answer is as simple as seeing it for what it is – another challenging experience. Maybe we can minimize our reactions by just being “with” it, rather than “in” it, and allowing ourselves to notice our awareness of it. Because, behind it all is a strong and true spirit with the wisdom to handle all that arises – just look back and you will see her. She has been with you a long time. Perhaps you will find, as challenges continue to occur, a growing sense of ease and equilibrium and solid footing in your steps.
Blessings.
During a conversation with a friend the other day, I asked how she was doing. She replied “Overall, things are good. There are still times when I’m feeling challenged, but for the most part, I seem to have a deeper sense of ease in my life these days.” Wow. Rock on, my friend!
We all know deep in our hearts that the challenges will never go away. There may even be a subconscious part of our Selves that bring them on, and yet when they arise, so does our frustration or despair. It’s as though we can forget we’ve encountered innumerable challenges up to that point in our life - and handled everyone of them.
Finding balance is one of the biggest challenges we can face. Riding the see-saw of easiness and exigency can make even the sanest person go mad. How do we stay in the middle? How do we not get carried off by the drama, the story lines we write for ourselves? What can we count on to bring us strength? Perhaps the answer is as simple as seeing it for what it is – another challenging experience. Maybe we can minimize our reactions by just being “with” it, rather than “in” it, and allowing ourselves to notice our awareness of it. Because, behind it all is a strong and true spirit with the wisdom to handle all that arises – just look back and you will see her. She has been with you a long time. Perhaps you will find, as challenges continue to occur, a growing sense of ease and equilibrium and solid footing in your steps.
Blessings.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Releasing The Prisoner
Forgive… and suddenly you have set yourself free.
There is an anonymous saying: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free — and discover the prisoner was you.”
I suppose there are a million quotes on “forgiveness” and it’s no wonder. The subject of forgiveness has been a long-time pondered one that spans hundreds of years - and rightly so - as it generates from the most basic and fundamental human emotions: love and hate.
I like this quote because it points directly towards taking ownership of our own stuff. We all know what it feels like to harbor resentment, and it’s ugly. But, when we feel we or our loved ones have been wronged, we find ourselves hard pressed to let it go so we can make sure it won’t happen again, … and there we are once more, caught up in the ocean of suffering the Buddhists call samsara. We think we are protecting ourselves, when, in actuality, we are simply perpetuating an inner-world of negativity – even if whoever or whatever it is we are not forgiving is unaware.
Sometimes the most difficult forgiveness to find is for ourselves and yet this is probably the most important. If we cannot forgive ourselves, eventually we can wind up projecting what we hold –pain and suffering. We cannot avoid getting hurt in life, but we don’t have to play the victim. We can choose what we will keep and what we let go. Releasing our own prisoner from the grips of unforgiving, frees up space in our heart for… well, YOU choose!
There is an anonymous saying: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free — and discover the prisoner was you.”
I suppose there are a million quotes on “forgiveness” and it’s no wonder. The subject of forgiveness has been a long-time pondered one that spans hundreds of years - and rightly so - as it generates from the most basic and fundamental human emotions: love and hate.
I like this quote because it points directly towards taking ownership of our own stuff. We all know what it feels like to harbor resentment, and it’s ugly. But, when we feel we or our loved ones have been wronged, we find ourselves hard pressed to let it go so we can make sure it won’t happen again, … and there we are once more, caught up in the ocean of suffering the Buddhists call samsara. We think we are protecting ourselves, when, in actuality, we are simply perpetuating an inner-world of negativity – even if whoever or whatever it is we are not forgiving is unaware.
Sometimes the most difficult forgiveness to find is for ourselves and yet this is probably the most important. If we cannot forgive ourselves, eventually we can wind up projecting what we hold –pain and suffering. We cannot avoid getting hurt in life, but we don’t have to play the victim. We can choose what we will keep and what we let go. Releasing our own prisoner from the grips of unforgiving, frees up space in our heart for… well, YOU choose!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
The Power of Receiving
Receive… and suddenly you are bestowing riches upon others.
You are strong, independent. You can take care of yourself AND others. You know what you need to do, you know what’s best for you, after all – you’ve known yourself longer than anyone. You can handle your finances, your workload, your love issues, your children’s issues, your health – of course you can, you’re a grown-up, right? So many of us are more than capable. We each have our own wells of knowledge, wisdom, insight, intelligence and intuition. So, reaching out or accepting help that is offered to us doesn’t always feel immediately comfortable. Doesn’t that mean we are inept? Incapable of controlling our own affairs? Weak?
We all have periods in our lives when we need “help”. IT’s designed that way. It’s the way we humans connect. Opening up enough, becoming vulnerable enough to allow another human being to help us is one of the greatest gifts we can offer. In light of the previous post, think again about how YOU feel when YOU are able to help another. Staying close enough to our heart during painful and difficult times can remind us that we ALL share that same pain – different stories – but it’s the same pain. Softening to an offering of support perpetuates the cycle of connecting and re-connecting - through the one(s) helping you - to the ones you, yourself, will go on to help.
Don’t stop receiving.
You are strong, independent. You can take care of yourself AND others. You know what you need to do, you know what’s best for you, after all – you’ve known yourself longer than anyone. You can handle your finances, your workload, your love issues, your children’s issues, your health – of course you can, you’re a grown-up, right? So many of us are more than capable. We each have our own wells of knowledge, wisdom, insight, intelligence and intuition. So, reaching out or accepting help that is offered to us doesn’t always feel immediately comfortable. Doesn’t that mean we are inept? Incapable of controlling our own affairs? Weak?
We all have periods in our lives when we need “help”. IT’s designed that way. It’s the way we humans connect. Opening up enough, becoming vulnerable enough to allow another human being to help us is one of the greatest gifts we can offer. In light of the previous post, think again about how YOU feel when YOU are able to help another. Staying close enough to our heart during painful and difficult times can remind us that we ALL share that same pain – different stories – but it’s the same pain. Softening to an offering of support perpetuates the cycle of connecting and re-connecting - through the one(s) helping you - to the ones you, yourself, will go on to help.
Don’t stop receiving.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
The Power of Giving
Give…. and suddenly you have everything you could ever need.
A moment of your time; a dollar for the street musician; a compliment to a stranger; a seat on the subway; a hug to the hurting… Have you ever noticed in those moments, however small, the way you feel after you’ve just “given” something of yourself? This, my friends, is the pure essence of the divine, our true god/goddess-like nature shining through, connecting us to that higher source we are all a part of.
Buried deep within every one of us, beneath all the wants and desires and woes and denials lives a loving, open heart that yearns to grow and glow. Of course, we are humans and not saints and live in a culture that tends to distract us everyday from this mindset. But, we do know it’s there and we all possess the power to tap into the abundance that giving can provide, for others and for ourselves. It’s a two way street where everybody wins.
Go and give… and live in abundance!
A moment of your time; a dollar for the street musician; a compliment to a stranger; a seat on the subway; a hug to the hurting… Have you ever noticed in those moments, however small, the way you feel after you’ve just “given” something of yourself? This, my friends, is the pure essence of the divine, our true god/goddess-like nature shining through, connecting us to that higher source we are all a part of.
Buried deep within every one of us, beneath all the wants and desires and woes and denials lives a loving, open heart that yearns to grow and glow. Of course, we are humans and not saints and live in a culture that tends to distract us everyday from this mindset. But, we do know it’s there and we all possess the power to tap into the abundance that giving can provide, for others and for ourselves. It’s a two way street where everybody wins.
Go and give… and live in abundance!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Perpetual Vacation
Play… and suddenly the whole world is recess.
I think, for most of us, in order to feel as though we are really worthy of a good vacation/change of scenery/different perspective, we need to feel like we’ve worked our tails off. Especially, those last couple of weeks leading to our up-coming “off” time. We hustle and bustle getting our projects completed or at best, to a good stopping point so others aren’t left carrying the load; confer with the neighbors about pet sitting and plant watering; arrange for rides to the airport; pick up those last much needed items you don’t want to be searching for once you reach your destination… all the while thinking, “I can’t wait to get on that plane – hit the road – the beach –the slopes – the hammock…” Anticipation abounds! You’re GOING somewhere!
Like the title of Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book says: “Wherever You Go, There You Are” - in my other words “You Can’t Escape Your Self”. So, why then do we continue to choose to compartmentalize our lives? - Over there I’m happy, here I am not. Fridays are good, Saturdays are better. - I think it is only when we can rest in true acceptance of who we are, however that is and wherever that is, the vacation mentality can be a perpetual state of being.
We all have access to a change of scenery or new perspective right here within us at every moment. By allowing ourselves to play within that realm, blurring the lines, if you will of bad/good or better/best we loose that sense of needing to “get away” and “recess” becomes a regular part of our lives!
I think, for most of us, in order to feel as though we are really worthy of a good vacation/change of scenery/different perspective, we need to feel like we’ve worked our tails off. Especially, those last couple of weeks leading to our up-coming “off” time. We hustle and bustle getting our projects completed or at best, to a good stopping point so others aren’t left carrying the load; confer with the neighbors about pet sitting and plant watering; arrange for rides to the airport; pick up those last much needed items you don’t want to be searching for once you reach your destination… all the while thinking, “I can’t wait to get on that plane – hit the road – the beach –the slopes – the hammock…” Anticipation abounds! You’re GOING somewhere!
Like the title of Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book says: “Wherever You Go, There You Are” - in my other words “You Can’t Escape Your Self”. So, why then do we continue to choose to compartmentalize our lives? - Over there I’m happy, here I am not. Fridays are good, Saturdays are better. - I think it is only when we can rest in true acceptance of who we are, however that is and wherever that is, the vacation mentality can be a perpetual state of being.
We all have access to a change of scenery or new perspective right here within us at every moment. By allowing ourselves to play within that realm, blurring the lines, if you will of bad/good or better/best we loose that sense of needing to “get away” and “recess” becomes a regular part of our lives!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
The Art of Letting Go
Relax... and suddenly everything seems easier.
We’re thinking of moving to Costa Rica. We are there now, actually. And although I feel like I’m supposed to be on vacation, there’s much more going on for me than just some fun-in-the-sun. Don’t get me wrong, there have been some nice visits to the beach and lolling about by the pool. But more than that, there have been visits to properties, talks with realtors, architects, home owners and business owners both transplants and locals, as we try in a two week period to glean as much information as we can about everything we can think of and more that we haven’t.
And then there’s my little brain trying to get itself around the big concept of “life in this sleepy beach town” which on one hand feels great, but on the other hand, there’s the idea of leaving my home and friends and family behind as well as trying to absorb all the logistics of making a substantial move like this happen…!
And then I stop and take a moment to let go of the drama I am creating and relax where I am, in this moment… and this moment… to acknowledge and honor the continuum of every moment in every day in every year and decade that has brought me to this very spot, here on this beautiful earth, here in my open heart… at least for this moment… and this moment. And let go. And relax… and suddenly – everything seems easier.
We’re thinking of moving to Costa Rica. We are there now, actually. And although I feel like I’m supposed to be on vacation, there’s much more going on for me than just some fun-in-the-sun. Don’t get me wrong, there have been some nice visits to the beach and lolling about by the pool. But more than that, there have been visits to properties, talks with realtors, architects, home owners and business owners both transplants and locals, as we try in a two week period to glean as much information as we can about everything we can think of and more that we haven’t.
And then there’s my little brain trying to get itself around the big concept of “life in this sleepy beach town” which on one hand feels great, but on the other hand, there’s the idea of leaving my home and friends and family behind as well as trying to absorb all the logistics of making a substantial move like this happen…!
And then I stop and take a moment to let go of the drama I am creating and relax where I am, in this moment… and this moment… to acknowledge and honor the continuum of every moment in every day in every year and decade that has brought me to this very spot, here on this beautiful earth, here in my open heart… at least for this moment… and this moment. And let go. And relax… and suddenly – everything seems easier.
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