Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Unhappy Anniversary

Realign… and suddenly you are back on track.

Earlier this month, while sitting at my desk, I was overcome with sensations and emotions by way of what I refer to as “involuntary total recall”. It was all at once, disconcerting, confusing and curious. I felt as though I was re-experiencing something from my past, something that had occurred several years ago. I seemed to be instantly projected backward in time to this very difficult period. Intellectually, I knew I had traveled far from that place and was now safe inside the new growth and understanding I had come to know along the way, but emotionally, I was reliving it. I stopped what I was doing and just sat with it, allowing myself to feel it. I was marveling at how fresh and clear it felt. I became the witness. It was so strong in it’s presence, I felt compelled to check the calendar – March 2. I was stunned by the accuracy of the timing of this “visitation”. It was March 3rd, three years prior that I received news that would send me spinning off my axis for the following year!

So, was it a coincidence, that less than a week later, my lower back went out to the point where I could barely move? I couldn’t help but contemplate, yet again, the notion of cellular memory and how we are, in fact, physical blueprints of every emotion we experience. Perhaps if we can learn to really listen to our bodies with compassion and patience when they “act out”, we can get a greater understanding of what is really going on inside our Selves and realign our focus accordingly. Maybe this way, we can ultimately lessen the blows (physical AND emotional) while meeting them with dignity, divinity and grace.

Stay Well!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Coming Around Again... and Again

Float… and suddenly you are winding your way up the spiral.

Just recently, I found myself in a particular situation, that, how should I say, wasn’t anything new. This episode I was dealing with was one where I had found myself several times in the past. So, the stage was set as I agreed to come into the scene, yet again, knowing the history and arriving with preconceived ideas about how things will unfold. So, when things turned in the direction that I had expected, I found myself (yet again) impatient, annoyed and frustrated. First, it was all directed toward my nemesis of the moment, but then I began to look at what was really going on: I chose this, I understood the nature of the situation and I allowed myself to get swallowed up in the drama I was co-creating -THEN, I turned the anger and frustration towards myself for doing so –THEN, I found myself as the witness, watching it all. I continued to bounce back and forth between these perspectives all day. It has been a very interesting unfolding, and I’m still reeling in the amazement of how we continue to take things on in life, over and again, until we learn what we are supposed to learn. Is it about learning patience and acceptance or is it about boundaries and living your truth? Is it about finally closing the book on something or going deeper into it to learn more… I guess the only way to know the answers to any of these questions is to be awake and present in the midst of it all and to make our decisions based on our higher wisdom or intuition - our most useful tool for growing towards authenticity and wholeness – and trust the outcome will be exactly what it needs to be. Because, even when we feel like we’ve come full circle or “been here before” we can trust that we are climbing the upward spiral and we ARE making progress.

Sat Nam!