Doing vs Being

Inquire… and suddenly you are getting ALL the facets!

We live in a culture that tends to place a heavy emphasis on our career life. This is obvious to me in a when we consider what seems to be the canned icebreaker during introductory conversations: “…and, what do you do?” I’ve grappled with this question many times over the years – only, of course, after coming to the realization that I am not “what I do”. For a while, I even sort of found the words insulting and yet I cannot blame the asking party who stands blindly before me, cocktail in hand, waiting to hear my job title so they can size me up and put me in their own little proverbial box. After all, if they know “what I do” then it provides them with fodder to avoid that uncomfortable silence between two strangers. It’s not their fault, its how we’ve all been raised. But, as we come together as strangers, looking for ways to connect with one another, aren’t we shorting ourselves by pointing our way towards such a limited question? Surely, this could lead the conversation into some very stimulating material and even help to form a bond, but what about all the other interesting things in a person’s life; their passions, their hopes and dreams and desires; their ability to create, explore; their teachings and learnings? I always try to remember to come back to the fact that we are “human beings” not just “human doings” and “doing” is just a part of our “being”. So when we ask, “what do you do?” we may be only getting part of the bigger picture. Today, when people ask me what I do, I am tempted to say “I do a LOT!... I do meditation and art, I do cooking and exploring. I’m really good at loving, and work daily with forgiveness and acceptance.” But, alas, for the sake of sounding glib, I give them the reply that I know will help make them feel safe and comfortable – something they can work with and expand on from there. But, I’m also working on my own language for when it’s my time to swoop in with the $64,000 question. I’m thinking more along the lines of “so, how do you spend your time?” or “So, tell me about YOU.” It’s not that I don’t want to know what people do for a living, of course that can be a very a interesting and important part of someone’s life, and for the real lucky ones, it just may encompass their deams and passions. On the other hand, some people HATE their jobs and would rather talk about anything BUT – either way, I’ve learned that, there is SO much more to a person than just their job. We are multi-faceted beings and like gemstones, shine in so many areas of life. Next time, try going beyond the surface and allow someone to shine like the prism they are.

Sat Nam!