Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Stepping Out of the Comfort Zone

Yield… and suddenly you can finally “get it”.

This is has been a difficult one to write about. It really stirs things up for me, I think it’s because our perpetual search for comfort is SO the crux of the matter - AND, so easy to see the solution, which is to just surrender right? But, how many of us can actually surrender ourselves, everyday, every moment to something we can’t see or hear or even fully understand: the powers that are greater than us - the universal force that is just as real as this material world we live in? Where, in the end, it is ALL an illusion. An illusion we create to keep us feeling comfortable and safe.

I realize that all the resistance I encounter in a day is the one, all-encompassing source at the root of my discomfort. It’s the force that pulls me away from what I innately know, to most often, the very opposite of what I expect or understand, and we all know that we fear what we don’t understand. So, there I am - anxious, angry, frustrated, fearful. How can I break this absurd cycle that my mind is constantly spinning?

Mindfulness, surrender and letting go is the only way – realizing that it is all an illusion - Maya, having it’s way with us, keeping us from true liberation. But, my ego so wants the fight. (I see myself swinging punches while someone keeps me at arms length, with their hand on my forehead!) My ego tells me it is SO self important. Because, to let go would bring me to the question of “what would be left? What will my day, week or life be like if I don’t take a firm stand on something? If I don’t prove that I am right, worthy or valid… then, of course I would loose control, right? When, in fact, I know in my heart we don’t have all the control. We can, at best, co-create our “fate”, but it’s important to recognize WHEN we need to step back and let our “co-creator” lead the way. Let resistance BE our guide - meet it, know it, embrace it and thank it, then … step back, because that resistance is the universe trying to tell us to reconsider our direction, our choices. Can you notice some of the subtle signs of resistance? Ask yourself, what is my general emotional state? Am I edgy, sad, impatient, bored? How does my body feel? Am I stiff, achy, tired? Eating a lot or not enough? … What am I resisting?

I can’t help but believe that every circumstance that shows up in our lives is a lesson, and the same circumstances or issues continually arise until we finally “get it”.

We can’t always expect to control situations and change others or their way of thinking so that WE can feel comfortable, safe and secure. We CAN act to communicate our truth, but in the end it is up to us to become comfortable with uncertainty. Ironically, we can find that comfort within - by stepping OUT of our comfort zone.

Blessings and peace.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

The more confined my comfort zone, the more I 'suffer'...meaning that I don't like what I am getting (or not getting). Today is cold and windy here in Spokane Valley, WA. My learned comfort zone is a bunch of degrees warmer, but I have vowed to walk the land here each day. So with boots and warm jacket I ventured out this morning to find the evidence of forest creatures who visited during the night and to pick a few wild flowers. The land is so alive and I find that cold can be comfortable. Love, Dori

Anonymous said...

comfort, comfortable, hmmm, well, how often do we ever really just bring up something that we KNOW before we do it that it is going to make the other person really uncomfortable?
for me, it has taken a lifetime to be able to do this, and let go, not just of my gripping, terrified possible rejection (by the other) or even myself, but mostly to let go of what they will do with IT! Will they hate me, leave me, reject me, laugh at me, belittle me, condemn me or worst of all, simply not care?
the real illusion is that we think we are comfortable, all nice and cozy in the illusion but really, we are just sleeping. cause when we finally wake up, and all that junk is there staring at us, if we finallly can do something about it, like face it honestly, then the real discomfort begins.
BUT, and I mean but, i do know, that once we get through that part of it, that the authentic comfort begins, it is just the in between that feels so prickly. yet prickles can tickle, if we let go.
you are so smart kajisan!
love,
dejisan

Anonymous said...

I would have thought at the age of 42 I would have found my comfort zone but I have realized I am only discovering it. What I have found out is that you have to take a stand in what you believe in and who you believe in. You cannot sit by and wait for others to come around and wait for things to work out because guess what, they won't. Unless you decide that something or someone is important enough you are the only one who can make a change.

You may start out outside of your comfort zone but before you know it you are feeling confident and secure and I have found that 90% of the time the end result is fabulous.

I may bend a little now in life but I refuse to change for anyone or anything and this is my comfort zone.

Nan Patience said...

The comfort zone is a good topic, and it's great the way you go at it and look a little deeper at things.

I agree that our comfort zone is all illusion. If you've ever lost your equilibrium for even a moment, you know what I'm talking about. There's nothing holding anything in place except by extreme will and muscle and chance.

Resistance, knowing when I'm up against it. That would almost seem to define work itself. The rest is childsplay. We need to learn to recognize better when the wind is blowing at our backs, when life has handed us a gift, when it's time to hitch a ride, go with the flow, and find economies of expense and effort.

Lately, I've been running myself ragged. Having spent entirely too much time thinking and holding back and planning and trying to figure stuff out, I'm now in action mode. Comfort be damned. Someone doesn't like it, talks about me, etc., so much the better.

Lady Guru said...

i love this. what glory it is to feel liberated in this way.

i am at a such a place where i can now laugh in the face of my old fears/neurosis/angst. as an old friend used to say, "frig 'em if they can't take a joke."

but honestly, it's MEEE that needs to like me and what i'm doing, who i'm with, what i'm saying, wearing, creating, believing in... i've officially decided to leave others to their own thoughts and ideas about things.

SAAAAAAAAT nam!