Step back… and suddenly you are stepping in.
There is a saying, “We don’t see others as THEY are, we see them as WE are.” We can only see each other through our own eyes, since, of course, these are the only eyes we have. But, behind these eyes are our own histories, shaped by beliefs cultivated through familial and cultural ideals. We only know what we, ourselves, have experienced, and so our perspective is skewed through the filters of our own comprehension.
How could we possibly know the true story of another? How could we possibly think we are correct when deciding if another person is happy, miserable, stupid, uncomfortable, in a bad relationship, in a good relationship… and, these are just a scant few, the list goes on. The plethora of judgments we can make in any given day’s time would be far too vast to list. Carl Jung said: “ Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside awakens.” It’s not to say the world doesn’t need it’s dreamers, on the contrary, but we need to check what we are dreaming about! If we can be present enough when a judgment arises - as it bubbles up from the deepest place inside ourselves – we can understand that it is ours alone. We created it, we own it and it really has nothing to do with the person to which it is directed.
If we can learn to witness the world with an open heart, rather than judge it with merely open eyes, then perhaps we can learn to focus on what is true; that we are all inherently the same, doing the best we can – and that it is not up to us to judge what that is.
Peace.
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3 comments:
Can anyone say/sing/shout WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I really dig this Kajisan, wouldn't the world be a smoother place if we could all allow each other to be, but as you say, then is that just my filtered belief?
Recently, I have had a really good friend going through some really hard stuff, similar in its vein of reality to some stuff I am going through. In other words, it would be so easy to sit here and listen to her and offer, emphatically, my take on what she could or even should do, because it seems so obvious. But what has happened, is that the universe keeps dishing me up some huge helpings of the same, so guess what, I suddenly had truck loads of empathy for her, I can actually hear her, be there for her, not take on her pain or suffering, and best of all, really let her know how deeply I believe in her to solve this for herself.
Wow, this has been amazing for me and for our relationship. And, this ability to listen and be neutral and lovingly supportive of her strength, has changed so much for me. I no longer feel that old tightness in my chest when we talk, I don't feel pain, I am open, expansive and able to really love her through it all.
The very best part of all of it for me, has been that this lesson has shown me how to do this same thing for the very people I am closest to, like my own kids and even my ex.
Here is how it goes, as soon as I begin to feel that constriction in my body, I go right into it, literally, dive inside,look at me and my stuff, and you are right, it is about me that I am feeling it for, not about her or rather the other person.
I hope this makes sense and maybe someone else will relate because it has sure changed the way I feel and opened a whole new arena for healing and relationships.
love you,
dejisan
you are so right, Dejisan. if we can tune into our bodies when we are having these feelings, we can remember to dive into that space and do some "clearing" rather than project it on to others.
actually, there's a yoga/fitness retreat scheduled for Tulum,Mexico in March called "Creating Body Wisdom" - it works with exactly this kind of stuff. [http://www.divinelightyoga.com/mexico/] i think we could all benefit a bit by getting more tuned in to our bodies - a wonderful guide through inner growth.
thanks, Dejisan, i love you,too!
blessings.
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